Mini Chapter with the Customer: Ticket Donation

A customer walked-in to our counter today and asked for a tax receipt for the tickets that he’d supposedly donated...

Customer: I wasn’t able to attend this show (on April 6th), I’ve donated the tickets back to you and would like to get a tax receipt for my donation.
Me: Alright, please hold on for a moment while I take a look at your account.

I logged into the his account and found a comment left by a co-worker who had previously helped him with his ticket donation. The comment stated that he had called on April 26th, 20 days after the performance, and had asked for his unused tickets to be donated for a tax receipt in return. Before I go on further, here’s a point-form explanation on how ticket donations work:

• You have to be a subscriber (this customer is one, so that’s a good sign).
• As all sales are final, your ticket(s) cannot be refunded. However, if you are unable to attend a performance, you have the option of donating your ticket(s) back to our organization. We would then release your seat(s) to be re-sold to the general public, by which you would be issued a tax receipt for regardless of the outcome of the re-sale.
• Ticket donations can be arranged up until 48 hours before the start of the performance (however, there have been cases where we allowed customers to donate their tickets up until minutes before the show starts. This just goes to show how accommodating and empathetic we are).
• Ticket donations cannot be arranged after the performance has ended (as this would be no different from giving someone an expired ‘all you can eat for free’ coupon at the Sheraton).
• All of the above information (except for the ones in parentheses) are written in a more formal and polite tone, printed in black and white under the Important Subscriber Information section located in the middle-page-spread of our Subscriber Handbook, which all subscribers receive in a package together with their season tickets and free gift coupons in their mail. These information are also posted on our website.

My co-worker’s comment also mentioned that the customer had made him called our manager to arrange for the ticket donation since he (my co-worker) did not have the authority to do so, BY WHICH our manager replied with an unshakable, definite ‘NO’ due to an obvious reason - he was donating us tickets to a performance that has ended 20 days ago. Our manager was kind enough to offer him missed-performance-replacement tickets to one of the remaining shows of the season, but he didn’t take the offer. Furthermore, he walked into our Customer Service Centre months after he made that call, lied to me that he’d donated his tickets and asked for a tax receipt as if it was all legitimated, which was clearly not the case.

Me: Thank you for waiting. I believe that you called us sometime in April after your performance has ended to arrange for the ticket donation?
Customer: That’s right.
Me: Thank you. You must have been informed then that ticket donations could not be arranged after the performance has ended because you would be donating tickets that could no longer be used.
Customer: No, nobody told me that.
Me: (Li-ar~) There is a note left in your account by my co-worker who helped you over the phone in April. He contacted our manager to see if we could find a way to arrange the ticket donation for you, but it wasn’t possible. As a result, we offered you the option of a missed-performance-replacement.
Customer: You can tell your co-worker, I told him that I didn’t want any replacement.
Me: Yes, he had written that down in the comment. Unfortunately, you had not donated your tickets. Ticket donations must be arranged in advance before the start of the show and we cannot process ticket donations for past performances. I regret to inform you that we cannot issue you a tax receipt for these tickets.
Customer: Tell me, how else could I have gotten the tax receipt since I didn’t attend the show.
Me: You would need to call us by latest, 48 hours prior to the performance, to arrange for the ticket donation. We do need a window period to re-sell the tickets.
Customer: But I was in Florida 2 days before the show and my wife and I didn’t know if we would be attending it. I thought I made that very clear over the phone.
Me: (Buddy, I’m not your mom. T’s your problem for double booking your vacation with your performance and, on top of that, being indecisive with your schedule and unwise with your money. Worst of all, you tried to make it look like this was my fault. I'd smack you at your behind and barred you from supper if I were your mom!) I regret to inform you that ticket donations can only be arranged before the start of the performance. After the performance, the tickets carry no value and therefore could not be accepted as a donation.
Customer: Are you giving me my tax receipt or not.
Me: (Dude, you cannot get a tax receipt without making a valid donation prior, that would be FRAUD-ulent) I'm afraid that it cannot be done.

He grabbed his tickets and charged right out of the door.

I hate to have customers leaving us in an unpleasant state, but in cases like this when the line is crossed, one has to be as firm and diplomatic as one can. Not all customers are ‘always right,’ some of them can be boldly unreasonable in order to get what they want.

Mini Chapter with the Customer: A Pretty Name!

I was helping a customer over the phone today with her tickets, trying my best to find her the best available seats in the hall which was challenging with a close to sold-out show. Towards the end of her phone call, she asked for my name...

Customer: What is your name?
Me: Siew Ling.
Customer: What?
Me: 'See-you-ling.'
Customer: I'm having a hard time hearing you, spell it!
Me: S-I-E-W-L...
Customer: No, I want you to spell me your name!
Me: S-I-E...
Customer: You're not understanding me here, I want you to SPELL me YOUR name!
Me: That is my name ma'am, but I never got to finish spelling it.
Customer: Oh. I meant your first name!
Me: That is my first name. Allow me to finish. It's S-I-E-W-L-I-N-G.
[Akward silence]
Customer: Well, you have a pretty name.
Me: (T's too late lady, too late.) Thanks.

Mini Chapter with the Customer: Check Your Tickets

A customer arrived at a 7:30pm show half an hour late today. The chapter unfolds...

Customer: Your show started a half hour earlier. This is unacceptable.
Me: I'm pretty sure that it was scheduled at 7:30pm even before the tickets went on sale.
Customer: I don't believe you. Nobody told me that.
Me: The date and show time are printed on your ticket sir.
[Customer checks his ticket]
Customer: Listen, I'm a REGULAR, all your shows always start at 8pm. You expect me to check my tickets every time I buy them?
Me: (As a matter of fact, I ABSOLUTELY DO. It is a good consumer habit to check the product/service that you've purchased together with the receipt to make sure that you've bought the right thing for the consented price. I'm sure that most of the crowd who showed up on-time did. Furthermore, doesn't it makes perfect sense to check your lottery ticket when the winning combination is released, or your plane ticket before you head off to the airport, or your buy-1-get-1-free coupon to make sure that it's still valid before you go shopping for 2 items instead of 1?) For the past few years, we've played shows at 1:30pm, 2pm, 3pm, 3:30pm, 6:30pm, 7pm, 7:30pm, 8pm and 10:30pm. It is not something new that we've just implemented. I apologize for your distress.
Customer: Let me tell you how all this has spoilt the musical experience that I've been looking forward to tonight. GOODNIGHT!
Me: (Come back again with a blunder conjured up by your lack of common sense while trying to pin the blame on my donkey's tail and watch me kick your unicorn's behind by stating the obviously obvious.) Goodnight.

Mini Chapter with the Customer: Christmas Special

A customer arrived at the Box Office with a pre-adolescent child 8 minutes after the show-time...

Me: May I have your last name please?
Customer: Smith. [Her real name is not used]
[I started searching for her tickets in the 'S' compartment in the ticket box]
Me: And your first name?
Customer: Jane.
[Weird...No tickets under that name.]
Me: Might the tickets be purchased under a name of a friend or family member ?
Customer: What! You can't find them! Shit! I'm going to be late because you are f*cking disorganized!
[She pounded her purse on the counter surface.]
Me: (Wh-at? I'm pretty sure that you arrived late to begin with...)May I have a look at the credit card the you've purchased the tickets with.
[She tossed me her card which my supervisor grabbed to run a credit card search in our ticketing system (to locate her transaction) while I search the Master List for her name...which I still could not locate; all the while, the constant execration and purse pounding did not tire her. The computer was taking a while to run the credit card search so I wrote her a pass for emergency seats under the best judgement that it's unlikely for further ticket sales to take place at that point since the show has already started and that we could also hunt her down during the intermission if we could not locate her purchase, which would mean that she did not buy any tickets.

Turns out, she did bought the tickets and they were purchased online. Unfortunately, she inverted her fist and last name when checking out her basket items. Consequently, we had her tickets printed and filed in the 'J' compartment under the name of Smith Jane.

I don't know if customers are aware of the intensity of their abusiveness could send the customer service person, who is helping them, further into panic mood, which hinders our ability to think clearly and problem solve. In all seriousness, it has always been our preeminent pursuit to strive to be calm, level headed and collected.

That being said, I'll keep in mind for the future to search under the customer's first name when I couldn't find their tickets under their last name. Lesson learned.]